late night

Tunes: "forever"// meego, walter


The last few days have been super unproductive for me. I get into this funk typically at the beginning of a year- I'm still trying to switch over from summer and no real things to get done-- academics-wise. I'll get on all of it eventually, I know. It's the transition teamed with my mounting anxiousness to be back in new england.

It feels like I must sound like a broken record. Or at least like a baby- still whining about missing home. I just find myself feeling lonely here a lot. Better than last year, but now that I'm back to living in my own apartment, supervising student staff, with Chris & Em being 15 minutes south and Alie being a full-time person at the lab, I just feel like I'm spenging a lot of time alone. Sometimes I like it, or rather I don't mind it at all. But when whole days go by where all I do is sit here, baking cookies or something to pass the time, I look back on the day at the end of it and wonder what if that was my last day? How sad that I spent it alone.
And today wasn't even that bad- Hannah came over to bake cookies with me. We watched "Stranger Than Fiction" which is probably what's fueling my mood at the moment. I love that movie so much, and ridiculously relate to Maggie Gyllenhaal's character as much as Will Farrell's. At one point during the movie, Hannah turned to me and said, "Leigh, lets not be Harold Cricks"...which was to say, lets not lead lonely, habitual, unhappy lives. Why would I ever want to? I hope I'm not setting myself up to.


I also should't let myself be so thoughtful while alone at this time at night. It doesn't help when Patrick is texting me, or when I read Josh Croteau's blog about his new place in Allston and how much he loves it. Or when I talk to my brother and how he's not doing anything all day...I want to go bring him bowling! And play frisbee!
Alas. I spent the day here, unproductive and unmotivated. At least I didn't spend all of it alone. Goodness. I am talking in circles.

On an unrelated note, the new Metallica song? Amaazinng.
And the band M83? I love them.



I need their album. It reminds me of every great movie from the 80's all at once. Which is such a great thing to be reminded of with the listen of just one song.
Oh, which reminds me. Radio show. This Thursday. Noon.

And the girls who live upstairs? ARE SO DAMN NOISY.
You'd swear they were doing jumping jax all night long.
Actually, I wonder if that's actually what they're doing.

The weather is weird, but telling of the fall that is on its way.
I'm trying to make it home a weekend in October. I realized once my loans come in, I will be rather "comfortable" in my finances (although it'll be a false comfort as I'll just be in more debt) so I should be able to finangle a trip home no problem. I realize after the year I had last year, that I need to take advantage of the 4 nights I am allotted off each month. So come October, I will be doing just that.

Goodnight!