I am approximately 2 and a half weeks away from movin' on out of here. Reality has been slowly settling in as my to-do list actually (miraculously) dwindles and my shoulders relax more and more each day (I store all my stress in my shoulders, apparently). Reality also set in last week when I got my tattoo. I've been thinking about this bird since moving here and getting it was an act of closure while also serving as an act of tribute...
The last two years here have been the biggest and most important learning experiences of my life. While living at UNH served me so well and helped me become who I am, the last two years here in Virginia I have totally come into my own. These last two years I haven't been able to fall back on home being a half hour away or my group of friends always being around. I've had to really evaluate who I am. That is hard to answer when you're constantly surrounded by people who know you well and have always supported you. It's become clear to me that who I am when no one else is around is truly me, and who I should strive to be even when everyone is watching.Chester-Kay, my Cardinal, is a reminder of all of that. It's wings are spread, like mine are, and it's flying onto wherever the wind blows. I've put him on my shoulder so I can easily look back and remember the people and places that have become such an essential part of my life here. "Chester" is a name I stole from a song by The Band. "The Weight" is the this song Lauren, a wonderful classmate and good friend of mine, introduced me to last year. At the end of our Group Counseling course, I organized a mix of songs for everyone in class. Each class member gave me a song that they felt really encompassed what they gained from the class. Lauren's pick, "The Weight," struck me more than any other. While explaining why she picked it, she alluded to the chorus of the song-- "take a load off, Annie, and put the load right on me."
These classmates and friends of mine have done this for me so often while I've been here. When the weight on my shoulders has been far too much to carry, they have found such simple and subtle ways to help take the load off of me, and carry it for a while themselves. "Kay" is per request of Lauren, and I had to oblige. I've gone through a lot with her and everyone else in this program, and Chester-Kay (as silly as this name sounds) will act as a literal mark on me-- to signify the mark that this experience and Virginia has left on me.
Today I completed 3 big portions of my to-do list (1 of these things I've been putting off since the end of last summer), had a really great evaluation meeting with my supervisor and got my staff super ready for closing the building. I have mentally prepared for Thursday- my trip to Massachusetts for my on-campus interview and met with my group for my final project. So productive today!
I feel like I have earned going to bed early, but at this point it's 1:30 am and clearly not early at all. I'm going to instead go to bed now and not feel bad about sleeping in. :)
Much love!
-LA
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