Tunes:"Windowsill"// Arcade Fire
Things have been a-changing. I'm unsure of where to begin--so instead, I'll summarize.
-No more dude, we're just friends. 4 hours and a staggering inability to talk things out have made this a necessary development. It's been a month since this has transpired, but I'm finally in a place where I'm sort of over it all.
-New boss? Rules. Love the woman. She's helped me really take ownership of my halls and my position at this school I'm still at. She's aware that I'm planning on leaving by the end of the year, which is also nice-- all my coworkers know that I'm intending on finding a new job after this year is over, and having that fully out there as common knowledge makes me feel 1) we're all on the same page with things & 2) that I'd better move my ass and find a new job come the spring, especially since everyone expects me do now. Motivation is good.
-I've adopted a kitten. I needed some constant company. His name is Delorean and is wonderful-- though kitten status makes for a really rambunctious cat and I sometimes want to just hold him and say "STOP RUNNING FOR 2 SECONDS!"...but he's adorable and fun to snuggle with. AND now I feel like I have someone/something to direct my thinking-out-loud to.
-"I'm doing me"...while quoting rapper Drake is sort of lame, it's very true. Since shifting my focus on that boy in Burlington, I have become increasingly more aware of the changes I should be making in my own life. So. Time for that. I'm completely vegetarian again, with intentions of going vegan come January...sooner if I can muster it (but I know that holidays will make no dairy or egg incredibly difficult). So far I've omitted eggs, aside from in any breads/baked good I might eat, and milk...all soy, all the time. Cheese is killing me, though. I love my salad at lunch everyday with some feta in it. But. I will allow myself to keep that little bit for a while and then come January, the gloves come off.
-Up next: Boston. I've decided to focus my job search 100% on Boston. I'm done screwing around. I want to be THERE. Not here. Not NH. Not Vermont. Not Virginia (though, that's sort of a lie...). BOSTON. So. I WILL find a job there. I WILL move there next summer and I WILL become an official Massachusetts resident-- if anything for a few more years.
Which brings me to the real point of this post.
It's time for a new blog. I am not transplanted. In fact, I am incredibly immersed in New England life and only see myself becoming more-so in the near future. So. I'll leave this blog to bookmark my post-undergrad years and start something new (probably a tumblr) for my post-grad years. That's the plan at least.
I hope to get into writing online more again. Whenever I did this in the past, I felt like I had more sanity. Here's hoping I can get it together. Thanks for reading, though. Family & friends--you mean the world to me. Find me elsewhere on the interweb! kbye!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
moving forward. or trying to.
Tunes:"taxi cab"// vampire weekend
Good lord, I am in a rut this week. I've hit the proverbial wall and just want to pound my head against it until I'm seeing clear again.
I'm fairly certain I hit this kind of wall once every year-- it's that space that exists when things are pretty much all going smoothly, but there's no excitement in calm waters and things that go according to plan.
There's a lot of little things behind this.
What's become the most painfully obvious is how alone I am all the time. And it bums me out most days. I have 3 friends here-- and they're really 3 co-workers. Everyone else that matters lives (what feels like) eons away. It seems as I get older my friends just keep spreading out wider-- like an oil droplet spreading over the water's surface. Spending a week in constant company of friends, GOOD friends who mean a lot to me, I find myself back in New England and trying to determine what's really left for me up here besides family. And family is worth it, but I have become so much of my own entity separate from them-- I need my own life besides my life as a sister/daughter/cousin/granddaughter/niece...lately, I feel like I don't have much of one.
In the summer I get bogged down by the day-to-day of living where I work because it's the same thing, day-in and day-out. I do paperwork. I answer phone calls from irritated parents. I sift through the mess of my office and try to find motivation to move myself forward on my 'task-list'...really, I just find myself to be listless.
I don't hate this job. I like it a whole lot, really. It's just that the victories and good moments are so small and so irrelevant to everyone else but me that it's not the things I share. It's the ridiculousness and the frustrations that my non-res-life counterparts can relate to. So I tend to dwell in those spaces when I talk about work with anyone. And at the end of the day, I live where I work-- so for better or worse, my life is my job. That fact has been making me so antsy and uneasy lately.
Missing from my life is more connections with people-- my own age, outside of my field. I connect with plenty of 18 & 19 year olds every day of the school year...and their parents...and my coworkers here and across the field. But I miss having regular friends around me, too. We like the same music and movies and I don't have to explain every reference I make. They have a shared past experience with me, so we're able to just move forward effortlessly. Is this what I have to look forward to as an adult? It scares me.
Where I'm living is essentially void of any community that I feel I could be a part of. It's easy for my coworkers with children and family nearby to feel at home here. But for me, I am young but am feeling forced to be a grown-up too soon. There is nothing about the community that is endearing to me. I feel disconnected AND disinterested because it is just another white, sleepy, boring town. They're a dime a dozen up here. It's why everyone moves to Boston. I am so not used to being away from things to do...from people my age or with my point of view. It's helping me see how important connectivity is in my own life and how I need to seek if out more in the future. But right now, besides Worcester--30 minutes up the road--this is all I've got.
And then I've found myself getting in this relationship with a boy who lives 4 hours away from me and who communicates really differently from me. It consistently intrigues me and challenges me and forces me to learn a patience that I have never known. He matters a lot more to me than he probably realizes--he's the most consistent part of my life. Everyday, when nothing goes right and when I eat shit all day for one thing or another, I at least know he'll be checking in to say hello and share the woes or victories from work and to talk about music and he'll laugh at my stupid jokes and he'll say things that remind me how sweet he is, which all work to make me feel less alone. But with 4 hours in between us, I'm barely able to hold his hand and smile at him. And that sucks. A lot. It would figure I find someone I could be with, and I can't really literally be with him very often at all.
People tell me that I'm doing the right thing-- I'm being responsible, I have a job, I have a salary, I have a roof over my head and wheels to drive me here and there. I have food in my cupboards and I have music and movies and I am not, by any means, discrediting any of these things or the accomplishments I've made--or the LUCK I've had-- but I keep finding myself wondering what the hell is the point without having people to share ALL of these things with. None of it matters if you're always alone. I've been told by too many people that 'things will get better' and that 'you can do anything for a year' but if I die tomorrow, will it matter that I was waiting around and doing the right thing? No. It makes no sense to wait around for your life to show up. You need to be living it, right? I'm trying so hard to find what it is that makes me tick--and I know it's not just one thing. So the big question is really 'what now?' and 'how?'...
It's all about moving forward these days.
Good lord, I am in a rut this week. I've hit the proverbial wall and just want to pound my head against it until I'm seeing clear again.
I'm fairly certain I hit this kind of wall once every year-- it's that space that exists when things are pretty much all going smoothly, but there's no excitement in calm waters and things that go according to plan.
There's a lot of little things behind this.
What's become the most painfully obvious is how alone I am all the time. And it bums me out most days. I have 3 friends here-- and they're really 3 co-workers. Everyone else that matters lives (what feels like) eons away. It seems as I get older my friends just keep spreading out wider-- like an oil droplet spreading over the water's surface. Spending a week in constant company of friends, GOOD friends who mean a lot to me, I find myself back in New England and trying to determine what's really left for me up here besides family. And family is worth it, but I have become so much of my own entity separate from them-- I need my own life besides my life as a sister/daughter/cousin/granddaughter/niece...lately, I feel like I don't have much of one.
In the summer I get bogged down by the day-to-day of living where I work because it's the same thing, day-in and day-out. I do paperwork. I answer phone calls from irritated parents. I sift through the mess of my office and try to find motivation to move myself forward on my 'task-list'...really, I just find myself to be listless.
I don't hate this job. I like it a whole lot, really. It's just that the victories and good moments are so small and so irrelevant to everyone else but me that it's not the things I share. It's the ridiculousness and the frustrations that my non-res-life counterparts can relate to. So I tend to dwell in those spaces when I talk about work with anyone. And at the end of the day, I live where I work-- so for better or worse, my life is my job. That fact has been making me so antsy and uneasy lately.
Missing from my life is more connections with people-- my own age, outside of my field. I connect with plenty of 18 & 19 year olds every day of the school year...and their parents...and my coworkers here and across the field. But I miss having regular friends around me, too. We like the same music and movies and I don't have to explain every reference I make. They have a shared past experience with me, so we're able to just move forward effortlessly. Is this what I have to look forward to as an adult? It scares me.
Where I'm living is essentially void of any community that I feel I could be a part of. It's easy for my coworkers with children and family nearby to feel at home here. But for me, I am young but am feeling forced to be a grown-up too soon. There is nothing about the community that is endearing to me. I feel disconnected AND disinterested because it is just another white, sleepy, boring town. They're a dime a dozen up here. It's why everyone moves to Boston. I am so not used to being away from things to do...from people my age or with my point of view. It's helping me see how important connectivity is in my own life and how I need to seek if out more in the future. But right now, besides Worcester--30 minutes up the road--this is all I've got.
And then I've found myself getting in this relationship with a boy who lives 4 hours away from me and who communicates really differently from me. It consistently intrigues me and challenges me and forces me to learn a patience that I have never known. He matters a lot more to me than he probably realizes--he's the most consistent part of my life. Everyday, when nothing goes right and when I eat shit all day for one thing or another, I at least know he'll be checking in to say hello and share the woes or victories from work and to talk about music and he'll laugh at my stupid jokes and he'll say things that remind me how sweet he is, which all work to make me feel less alone. But with 4 hours in between us, I'm barely able to hold his hand and smile at him. And that sucks. A lot. It would figure I find someone I could be with, and I can't really literally be with him very often at all.
People tell me that I'm doing the right thing-- I'm being responsible, I have a job, I have a salary, I have a roof over my head and wheels to drive me here and there. I have food in my cupboards and I have music and movies and I am not, by any means, discrediting any of these things or the accomplishments I've made--or the LUCK I've had-- but I keep finding myself wondering what the hell is the point without having people to share ALL of these things with. None of it matters if you're always alone. I've been told by too many people that 'things will get better' and that 'you can do anything for a year' but if I die tomorrow, will it matter that I was waiting around and doing the right thing? No. It makes no sense to wait around for your life to show up. You need to be living it, right? I'm trying so hard to find what it is that makes me tick--and I know it's not just one thing. So the big question is really 'what now?' and 'how?'...
It's all about moving forward these days.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
oh hey, it's may
Tunes:"the last lie i told"// saves the day
I had gone so far as to write this really long, drawn-out and (lets be honest) boring post about summer-- particularly in relation to my job...and I reread what I'd written and realized that no one would read it. Even if they wanted to. So. Here's the long and the short:
-I am still living & working down in Dudley, even though all my students are gone (8:30am-4:30pm everyday)
-Contrary to popular belief, there's things to do on a college campus in the summer. A lot, actually.
-Regardless of this, it still feels like I'm getting a break (no students & thus, no duty)
AND, even shorter: It's summer. Life is good.
I'm writing this as I sit in Panera, an establishment that has seen far too much of my patronage the last couple years (this location, and moreover the location in Harrisonburg...I haunted that place). I brought my laptop with me in hopes of getting a recommendation letter written, but instead I got caught up in people watching and drifting off into my own world. And here I be.
Since my last update nothing earth-shattering has occurred-- which is probably a good thing, right?
Just the same. A Quick recap...
-I successfully baked a batch of those awesome looking PB&J cookies. They were a pain in the ass to create. But, once complete, people (ie: my staff) couldn't get over how fantastic they were. Score. :)
-I've officially started seeing about a boy. He's kind of been in the picture since...November, yowzers. But it took us till March to really decide to see about it. And I'm glad. He's pretty great, is adorable, has his shit together and cares about music as much as me. He recently moved to Burlington, Vermont, so I'll likely be making a fair number of trips up there this summer.
-I turned 25 and celebrated in Boston with my best friends...I went to my first Red Sox game of the year/season, partied a bit in Allston with Mel, Margo & Jacqueline, hung out with the dude and finally tried Grasshopper (a vegetarian/vegan asian restaurant in Allston). A fantastic weekend to be 25. Ha.
[mel, margo & me]
-I survived my first closing at Nichols, emerged mostly unscathed and with loads of pride in my staff. Booya.
So, all in all, everything is great. All that I need is for the weather to keep on getting better. It's still been so cold! But the sun's out, and the sky is blue and there's iced coffee in my cup. Can not complain. :)
Hope this finds you well, wherever it finds you!
<3 Leigh
I had gone so far as to write this really long, drawn-out and (lets be honest) boring post about summer-- particularly in relation to my job...and I reread what I'd written and realized that no one would read it. Even if they wanted to. So. Here's the long and the short:
-I am still living & working down in Dudley, even though all my students are gone (8:30am-4:30pm everyday)
-Contrary to popular belief, there's things to do on a college campus in the summer. A lot, actually.
-Regardless of this, it still feels like I'm getting a break (no students & thus, no duty)
AND, even shorter: It's summer. Life is good.
I'm writing this as I sit in Panera, an establishment that has seen far too much of my patronage the last couple years (this location, and moreover the location in Harrisonburg...I haunted that place). I brought my laptop with me in hopes of getting a recommendation letter written, but instead I got caught up in people watching and drifting off into my own world. And here I be.
Since my last update nothing earth-shattering has occurred-- which is probably a good thing, right?
Just the same. A Quick recap...
-I successfully baked a batch of those awesome looking PB&J cookies. They were a pain in the ass to create. But, once complete, people (ie: my staff) couldn't get over how fantastic they were. Score. :)
-I've officially started seeing about a boy. He's kind of been in the picture since...November, yowzers. But it took us till March to really decide to see about it. And I'm glad. He's pretty great, is adorable, has his shit together and cares about music as much as me. He recently moved to Burlington, Vermont, so I'll likely be making a fair number of trips up there this summer.
-I turned 25 and celebrated in Boston with my best friends...I went to my first Red Sox game of the year/season, partied a bit in Allston with Mel, Margo & Jacqueline, hung out with the dude and finally tried Grasshopper (a vegetarian/vegan asian restaurant in Allston). A fantastic weekend to be 25. Ha.
-I survived my first closing at Nichols, emerged mostly unscathed and with loads of pride in my staff. Booya.
So, all in all, everything is great. All that I need is for the weather to keep on getting better. It's still been so cold! But the sun's out, and the sky is blue and there's iced coffee in my cup. Can not complain. :)
Hope this finds you well, wherever it finds you!
<3 Leigh
Monday, March 15, 2010
Take a Break
Tunes:"The Rascal King"// Mighty Mighty Bosstones
2 posts within the span of a week?! Goodness, me. I know. It's almost too much. But I'm officially on "break"-- from students, and have the day off, and have been spending it lazily at my parents' house. So. Why not write a little in the blog, right? Right.
I plan on posting 3 recipes in this post. Now, I know-- I have a baking blog for such things. But since Kristen and I have yet to actually get "Bake to the Beat" up and running, I'm going to post the 3 cookie recipes I am most excited to try next. My staff usually benefits from the fruits of my cookie-labor, so I'm sure they'll be excited at the prospect of each of these...
Dinosaur Egg Cookies
Ingredients:
-1 cup (2 sticks) margarine/butter
-1 cup confectioners' sugar
-1 egg
-1 teas. vanilla
-1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
-1 1/4 cups oats (quick or old fashioned)
-1/2 cup cornstarch
-1/4 salt (optional)
-24 assorted bite-size candies (think malted eggs)
-Colored sugar/candy sprinkles
1. Heat oven to 325 F. Beat margarine & sugar in large bwl with electric mixer until creamy. Add egg and vanilla; beat well. Combine flour, oats, cornstarch & starch & salt, if desired, in medium bowl; mix well. Add to creamed mixture; mix well.
2. Shape rounded tablespoonfuls of dough into 1 1/2 inch balls. Press candy piece into center of each ball; shape dough around candy so that it is completely hidden. Lightly pinch one side of dough to form egg shape. Roll cookies in desired decorations until evenly coated. Place 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheets.
3. Bake 16 to 20 minutes or until cookies are set and lightly browned on bottom. Remove to wire rack; cool completely. Store tightly covered.
Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich Cookies
Ingredients:
-1 package (16 oz) refrigerated sugar cookie dough
-1 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
-3/4 cup creamy peanut butter
-1/2 cup grape jelly
1. Reserve three fourths of dough, wrap and refrigerate. Beat remaining one fourth of dough and cocoa in small bowl with an electric mixer at medium speed until well blended; cover and refrigerate.
2. Shape reserved dough into 5 1/2 in. log. Roll out chocolate dough between parchment paper into 9 1/2 x 6 1/2 in. rectangle. Place log of plain dough in the center of the rectangle.
3. Bring chocolate dough up and over the log so log is wrapped in chocolate dough; press edges to seal. Flatten top and sides of dough to seal. Flatten top and sides of dough slightly to form square. Wrap and freeze 10 minutes.
4. Preheat oven to 350 F. Cut dough into 1/4 in. slices. Place 2 in. apart on ungreased cookie sheets Reshape dough edges into square, if neccessary. Press edge of dough slightly to form indentation so dough resembles slice of bread.
5. Bake 8-10 minutes or until lightly browned. Immediately straighten cookie edges with spatula. Cool on cookie sheets 2 minutes. Remove to wire racks; cool completely.
6. Spread peanut butter on half of the cookies. Spread jelly over the peanut butter; top with remaining cookies, pressing gently. (Makes 11 cookies)
Easter Nest Cookies
(pretty sure we had something like this when I was a kid...)
Ingredients:
-1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
-1 teas baking powder
-1/2 teas salt
-3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) butter
-2 cups miniature marshmallows
-1/2 cup sugar
-1 egg white
-1 teas vanilla extract
-1/2 teas almond extract
-3 3/4 cups sweetened coconut flakes, divided
-jelly beans, milk chocolate eggs
1. Heat oven to 375 F
2. Stir together flour, baking powder and salt; set aside. Place butter and marchmallows in microwave safe bowl. Microwave on high for 1 to 1 1/2 minutes or just until mixture melts when stirred. Beat sugar, egg white, vanilla and almond extracts in separate bowl; dd melted butter mixture, beating until light and fluffy. Gradually add flour mixture, beating until blended. Stir in 2 cups coconut.
3. Shape dough into 1 inch balls, roll balls in remaining 1 3/4 cups coconut, tinting coconut, if desired.* Place balls on ungreased cookie sheet. Press thumbs into center of each ball, creating a shallow depression.
4. Bake 8-10 minutes or just until lightly browned. Place 1 to 3 jelly beans/chocolate eggs in the center of each cookie. Transfer to wire rack; cool completely. (Makes about 3 1/2 dozen cookies).
All recipes can be found in this cookbook:
(it was a Sam's Club special...I can't find it online)
Will keep you posted on how they all come out!
2 posts within the span of a week?! Goodness, me. I know. It's almost too much. But I'm officially on "break"-- from students, and have the day off, and have been spending it lazily at my parents' house. So. Why not write a little in the blog, right? Right.
I plan on posting 3 recipes in this post. Now, I know-- I have a baking blog for such things. But since Kristen and I have yet to actually get "Bake to the Beat" up and running, I'm going to post the 3 cookie recipes I am most excited to try next. My staff usually benefits from the fruits of my cookie-labor, so I'm sure they'll be excited at the prospect of each of these...
Dinosaur Egg Cookies
Ingredients:
-1 cup (2 sticks) margarine/butter
-1 cup confectioners' sugar
-1 egg
-1 teas. vanilla
-1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
-1 1/4 cups oats (quick or old fashioned)
-1/2 cup cornstarch
-1/4 salt (optional)
-24 assorted bite-size candies (think malted eggs)
-Colored sugar/candy sprinkles
1. Heat oven to 325 F. Beat margarine & sugar in large bwl with electric mixer until creamy. Add egg and vanilla; beat well. Combine flour, oats, cornstarch & starch & salt, if desired, in medium bowl; mix well. Add to creamed mixture; mix well.
2. Shape rounded tablespoonfuls of dough into 1 1/2 inch balls. Press candy piece into center of each ball; shape dough around candy so that it is completely hidden. Lightly pinch one side of dough to form egg shape. Roll cookies in desired decorations until evenly coated. Place 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheets.
3. Bake 16 to 20 minutes or until cookies are set and lightly browned on bottom. Remove to wire rack; cool completely. Store tightly covered.
Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich Cookies
Ingredients:
-1 package (16 oz) refrigerated sugar cookie dough
-1 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
-3/4 cup creamy peanut butter
-1/2 cup grape jelly
1. Reserve three fourths of dough, wrap and refrigerate. Beat remaining one fourth of dough and cocoa in small bowl with an electric mixer at medium speed until well blended; cover and refrigerate.
2. Shape reserved dough into 5 1/2 in. log. Roll out chocolate dough between parchment paper into 9 1/2 x 6 1/2 in. rectangle. Place log of plain dough in the center of the rectangle.
3. Bring chocolate dough up and over the log so log is wrapped in chocolate dough; press edges to seal. Flatten top and sides of dough to seal. Flatten top and sides of dough slightly to form square. Wrap and freeze 10 minutes.
4. Preheat oven to 350 F. Cut dough into 1/4 in. slices. Place 2 in. apart on ungreased cookie sheets Reshape dough edges into square, if neccessary. Press edge of dough slightly to form indentation so dough resembles slice of bread.
5. Bake 8-10 minutes or until lightly browned. Immediately straighten cookie edges with spatula. Cool on cookie sheets 2 minutes. Remove to wire racks; cool completely.
6. Spread peanut butter on half of the cookies. Spread jelly over the peanut butter; top with remaining cookies, pressing gently. (Makes 11 cookies)
Easter Nest Cookies
(pretty sure we had something like this when I was a kid...)
Ingredients:
-1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
-1 teas baking powder
-1/2 teas salt
-3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) butter
-2 cups miniature marshmallows
-1/2 cup sugar
-1 egg white
-1 teas vanilla extract
-1/2 teas almond extract
-3 3/4 cups sweetened coconut flakes, divided
-jelly beans, milk chocolate eggs
1. Heat oven to 375 F
2. Stir together flour, baking powder and salt; set aside. Place butter and marchmallows in microwave safe bowl. Microwave on high for 1 to 1 1/2 minutes or just until mixture melts when stirred. Beat sugar, egg white, vanilla and almond extracts in separate bowl; dd melted butter mixture, beating until light and fluffy. Gradually add flour mixture, beating until blended. Stir in 2 cups coconut.
3. Shape dough into 1 inch balls, roll balls in remaining 1 3/4 cups coconut, tinting coconut, if desired.* Place balls on ungreased cookie sheet. Press thumbs into center of each ball, creating a shallow depression.
4. Bake 8-10 minutes or just until lightly browned. Place 1 to 3 jelly beans/chocolate eggs in the center of each cookie. Transfer to wire rack; cool completely. (Makes about 3 1/2 dozen cookies).
All recipes can be found in this cookbook:
(it was a Sam's Club special...I can't find it online)
Will keep you posted on how they all come out!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Is it spring yet?
Tunes:"down on cripple creek"// the band
Is it me or does winter just drag. on. forever? Maybe I have forgotten what real winter is like, but this is just...old. Old and played out and I'm sick of it. The last few days have been stuffed to the brim with sunshine and blue skies and powder-puff clouds and frankly, it's enough to drive a girl bananas because- lets be honest- in a week or so, there will likely be another big snowstorm and I will be stuck once again in the grey, leafless, Blackstone Valley, wishing for nothing more than a tinge of spring to creep into my life. And that'll suck. Big time.
Alright. Enough with the dramatics.
It's been (most of) a winter since I wrote in here last. The cold months keep me like a grizzly bear, hulled up in my apartment with little energy to do more than bake a batch of cookies here and there, or do a load of laundry once and a while. With the last few days being so gosh-darn beautiful, I figured it's high time I updated this dang blog. But what to write?! I suppose it's been an eventful-enough winter. I saw a lot of old friends the past few months, had some fun with them as well as my family, dealt with some terrible things...but all-in-all, I've made it to March and it's been no great feat, but no small one either. It seems futile to summarize everything. Know that I have been pleasantly surprised at how old friends can find their way back into your life, how new friends can make you wonder how you ever got on without them and how collegiate folk can be absolutely ridiculous and I am counting down the days till spring (then summer!) break.
Whew.
There's no amount of preparation that can fully ready someone for their first year as a student affairs professional. I suppose that this could be said for anyone working their first year in their professional field, but I realize now that I had little-to-no idea as to what I was in for when I took this job. Not in a bad way. Just in a holy-moly, 'whodathunkit?!' way. I know many of you don't really get what it is that I do, but please trust: as a live-in, I work my tail off for a bunch of younger individuals who often don't see the value or the point of what it is that I do, and that I must continue to do. Ha. Every weekend there's something broken, someone punched in the face, somebody in trouble who I thought would know better. It's been a real labor of love to keep trying to think of ways to reach the students here. While the business mindset is still one that I don't quite understand myself, I am feeling much better about working with this population in that I feel confident in my ability to do so. I need to figure out more effective methods, though. In time, I suppose. I will be here another year to hone in on my craft. Haha, 'craft.'
I wish I had more to say here about my life besides work. With all of the things going on this spring at Nichols, there really is little else going on in my life. I have found lots of little things keeping me going through the day-to-day like... buying new sheets for my bed and cooking things that Mum or Mémère P. used to make...meeting up with friends whenever possible, turning the music up loud...doodling and laughing and singing...brewing strong pots of coffee...trying to forget certain boys, looking into other boys. Basically I'm Just trying to keep on keeping on. Not much more to say than that.
This weekend I felt so much older than I know I am--I went to a show in Worcester, The Ataris, and saw students of mine there who didn't know who they are. If you're reading this, you probably don't know who they are either. But when I was in highschool-- Sophomore year, to be specific-- Liam lent me their cd "End is Forever" and I never gave it back to him. I loved that album. I still love that album. I know every word. And when I saw them, after seeing them 2 times prior (in 2002 & 2004), it felt like no time had really passed. The singer's voice was still exactly how I remembered it, the melodies and guitar riffs just the same, too. And it was awesome. Then I looked around the community center and saw so many blank faces. What had happened? When did I become so old? When did pop-punk-rock kids stop caring about The Ataris?!
Likely a long time ago.
But still! It was just so weird. Regardless, I loved every second of their performance and was glad I had decided to stop in on my way home from NH. The company was good, too.
And there you have it. March. 2010. I'm here. I'm alive & well.
Anxiously awaiting spring and hopeful of what it has in store.
Much love,
Leigh
Is it me or does winter just drag. on. forever? Maybe I have forgotten what real winter is like, but this is just...old. Old and played out and I'm sick of it. The last few days have been stuffed to the brim with sunshine and blue skies and powder-puff clouds and frankly, it's enough to drive a girl bananas because- lets be honest- in a week or so, there will likely be another big snowstorm and I will be stuck once again in the grey, leafless, Blackstone Valley, wishing for nothing more than a tinge of spring to creep into my life. And that'll suck. Big time.
Alright. Enough with the dramatics.
It's been (most of) a winter since I wrote in here last. The cold months keep me like a grizzly bear, hulled up in my apartment with little energy to do more than bake a batch of cookies here and there, or do a load of laundry once and a while. With the last few days being so gosh-darn beautiful, I figured it's high time I updated this dang blog. But what to write?! I suppose it's been an eventful-enough winter. I saw a lot of old friends the past few months, had some fun with them as well as my family, dealt with some terrible things...but all-in-all, I've made it to March and it's been no great feat, but no small one either. It seems futile to summarize everything. Know that I have been pleasantly surprised at how old friends can find their way back into your life, how new friends can make you wonder how you ever got on without them and how collegiate folk can be absolutely ridiculous and I am counting down the days till spring (then summer!) break.
Whew.
There's no amount of preparation that can fully ready someone for their first year as a student affairs professional. I suppose that this could be said for anyone working their first year in their professional field, but I realize now that I had little-to-no idea as to what I was in for when I took this job. Not in a bad way. Just in a holy-moly, 'whodathunkit?!' way. I know many of you don't really get what it is that I do, but please trust: as a live-in, I work my tail off for a bunch of younger individuals who often don't see the value or the point of what it is that I do, and that I must continue to do. Ha. Every weekend there's something broken, someone punched in the face, somebody in trouble who I thought would know better. It's been a real labor of love to keep trying to think of ways to reach the students here. While the business mindset is still one that I don't quite understand myself, I am feeling much better about working with this population in that I feel confident in my ability to do so. I need to figure out more effective methods, though. In time, I suppose. I will be here another year to hone in on my craft. Haha, 'craft.'
I wish I had more to say here about my life besides work. With all of the things going on this spring at Nichols, there really is little else going on in my life. I have found lots of little things keeping me going through the day-to-day like... buying new sheets for my bed and cooking things that Mum or Mémère P. used to make...meeting up with friends whenever possible, turning the music up loud...doodling and laughing and singing...brewing strong pots of coffee...trying to forget certain boys, looking into other boys. Basically I'm Just trying to keep on keeping on. Not much more to say than that.
This weekend I felt so much older than I know I am--I went to a show in Worcester, The Ataris, and saw students of mine there who didn't know who they are. If you're reading this, you probably don't know who they are either. But when I was in highschool-- Sophomore year, to be specific-- Liam lent me their cd "End is Forever" and I never gave it back to him. I loved that album. I still love that album. I know every word. And when I saw them, after seeing them 2 times prior (in 2002 & 2004), it felt like no time had really passed. The singer's voice was still exactly how I remembered it, the melodies and guitar riffs just the same, too. And it was awesome. Then I looked around the community center and saw so many blank faces. What had happened? When did I become so old? When did pop-punk-rock kids stop caring about The Ataris?!
Likely a long time ago.
But still! It was just so weird. Regardless, I loved every second of their performance and was glad I had decided to stop in on my way home from NH. The company was good, too.
And there you have it. March. 2010. I'm here. I'm alive & well.
Anxiously awaiting spring and hopeful of what it has in store.
Much love,
Leigh
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